modern-jokes

Why did the scarecrow become a successful entrepreneur? Because it was outstanding in its field! Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!

Why did the book go to the doctor? Because it had too many characters! What's the best thing about books from the library? No late fees - they're always overdue! Why did the scarecrow become a best-selling author? Because he was outstanding in his field! Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for years? A read-a-holics anonymous! How does a book get around in jail? It gets released! Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems! What did the book say to the librarian? "Can I check you out?" What do you call a bookworm who gets a library book wet? A book drip! How do you organize a space party? You "planet" in advance!

Why did the calculator go to the therapist? It had too many problems to solve. What did the calculator say to the other calculator? "You can count on me!" Why do calculators make great lovers? They always multiply your happiness! How do calculators keep their friends? By always being positive! Why did the calculator break up with the pencil? It found someone more complex. What do you call a calculator that can sing? A math-melody! Why was the calculator a great musician? It knew all the right keys! Why did the calculator join a band? It wanted to multiply the rhythm. What did the calculator say when it met the computer? "I think we add up quite nicely!" Why did the calculator become a stand-up comedian? It could always divide the audience with its jokes!

Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a byte infection! Why did the computer go to art school? It wanted to become a graphic designer! Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open! Why couldn't the computer take its hat off? Because it had a CAPS LOCK on! Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs! Why don't computers play hide-and-seek? Because they always find you in the end! Why did the computer go to the bar? To get a byte to eat! Why did the computer go to the party? Because it heard there would be lots of "data" to process! What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell! Why did the computer go on a diet? It had too many cookies!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright! Why did the teacher bring a ladder to the classroom? To reach the high notes! Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems! Why was the math teacher always happy? Because she always knew the right angle! Why did the teacher always get along with her plants? Because she had excellent STEM skills! What do you call a teacher who never frowns? A good ruler! Why did the teacher go to the beach with the students? To test the waters! Why did the teacher always carry a pencil sharpener? To keep her students sharp! Why did the teacher bring a ladder to the classroom? Because she wanted to help her students reach new heights! Why did the teacher wear a whistle around her neck? Because she was the ruler of the class!

Why did the chicken go to the library? Because it wanted to find some "egg-citing" books! What's a pirate's favorite letter? Arrrrrrr! You may think it's the "R," but it's actually the "C"! Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems! Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it! What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An "abdominal snowman"!